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Jenn's apparently still on LiveJournal.
2006-12-14 05:23 am (UTC)
I don't know what it says about me that I was like, "What? What? What's so wrong about that? That's not even half as bad as the time I used a piece of brown paper bag to wipe and then I clogged the toilet because as you can imagine even recycled paper grocery bags are not really meant to go in toilets."
Which is to say, IN MY DAY WE USED CORN COBS AND YOU HAD TO THROW A HANDFULL OF SHAVINGS IN AFTER YOU MADE DUMPS. Where are grandpa's glasses?
Honestly, Jenn, I could give you a massive list of options that are far, far more horrible than using napkins. For example, only peeing in the shower, or only going to the potty when you aren't at home. I often find myself having brilliant insights like "If I poo at work, not only do I not have to pay for the toilet paper I use, technically I will get paid to poo!" (This recently led to me calculating that I probably get paid like 40 bucks a month to poo.) Or try holding it in for a month and needing surgery (okay I don't know anyone who's done that). Not eating or drinking. Adult diapers! Using dirty underwear, then throwing them in the washing machine. Stealing paper towels from somewhere like work or school. Stealing toilet paper from public restrooms. The aforementioned brown paper bags, or perhaps newspaper (really, truly, do NOT try this). Leaves! Or how about using the back yard? In fact I used to pee in the yard pretty regularly when my mom and I were living with my aunt. Actually I used to shower in the yard too because the shower that is indoors didn't work so well but the outdoor one did. A little unpleasant in the winter but otherwise it was fun. Boy, I could keep going about what a shoeless hick I am but this is starting to get depressing.
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